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![5... Hook Up to Cable]()
We鈥檝e all seen images of San Francisco鈥檚 cable cars, struggling uphill while crammed with neck-craning tourists. Understandably, the prospect of a slow-moving car filled with sharp elbows and flashing cameras may not thrill you. You might also raise an eyebrow at the $5 one-way fare. It鈥檚 possible, though, to hop on a much quieter car - and you simply can鈥檛 argue with the beauty of the views along the way. 聽 The Powell-Hyde line is the most central and scenic, thus the busiest. For a less-crowded ride, try the California line, which starts at the foot of Market Street and takes you up to Nob Hill. While it鈥檚 not quite as scenic as the city鈥檚 other two lines, you鈥檒l cut across Grant Avenue, Chinatown鈥檚 main drag. To avoid sardine-like conditions or a long wait at the terminus, ride in the early morning or evening. When you hear the cheerfully clanging bell and see the glinting bay from the crest of a hill, you鈥檒l be glad you came aboard. 聽 Still need convincing? Stop by the cable-car barn鈥檚 free Cable Car Museum (1201 Mason St., 415-474-1887), where you can watch the massive cable wheels screech and turn.![4... Have it Made in Chinatown]()
Chinatown鈥檚 core presents itself in a stylized, tourist-centric way, but behind those pagoda rooflines lies a serious purpose. After San Francisco鈥檚 disastrous 1906 earthquake and fire, city leaders hoped to expel Chinese immigrants from this downtown area. One Chinese businessman thought fast and suggested that instead, the neighborhood be rebuilt for sightseers. Exotic restaurants, shops, and joss houses, decked out with lanterns and gilded facades, became irresistible to early visitors. The gimmick helped save the community. 聽 Once you go through the stone Chinatown Gate and head up Grant Avenue, you鈥檒l see plenty of these flourishes. Souvenir shops and markets spill onto the sidewalks, hawking everything from DVDs to dried squid. Look past the schlock, though, and you鈥檒l see how traditions are kept alive. Stop by the family-run Chinatown Kite House (717 Grant Ave., 415-989-5182) to size up dragon kites. Find a perfect tea blend at Red Blossom Tea (831 Grant Ave., 415-395-0868), then line up for plump steamed pork buns or mooncake at Eastern Bakery (720 Grant Ave., 415-433-7973), the neighborhood鈥檚 oldest bakery. Count your blessings at Kong Chow Temple (855 Stockton St., no phone), then gaze over Chinatown from its fourth-floor balcony.![3... Enter Solitary Confinement]()
It鈥檚 infamous, it鈥檚 formidable, and it launched a gazillion lame T-shirts. The name 鈥淎lcatraz鈥� conjures up two images: hardened criminals and hordes of day-trippers. Even if you鈥檙e not sure who would be more off-putting, get in line for the ferry. Spending some time on 鈥淭he Rock鈥� will surely change your perspective. 聽 Finesse your trip by buying your ferry tickets (415-981-7625, $26--$33) at least a few days in advance, since same-day tickets often sell out early. The short boat ride itself is a pleasure, with city views and a bay breeze. Once you reach the island, grim history asserts itself. From 1934 to 1963, this was the country鈥檚 toughest prison, notorious for its strict rules, isolation, and high-profile criminals. To intensify the experience, sign up for the evening tour. 聽 The echoing halls and bleak cells are certainly evocative, but the audio tour brings things to chilling life. Former prisoners explain daily routines, escape attempts, and the anguish of being tantalizingly close to the city. In an unexpectedly poignant moment, they also describe how hard life after Alcatraz could be鈥� for those who made it out alive.![2... Go, in a GoCar?]()
They may look like bumper cars gone rogue, but GoCars (800-914-6227, branches near Fisherman鈥檚 Wharf and Union Square) now buzz throughout the city. Locals heave mocking sighs but if you haven鈥檛 brought another car to town, these taxicab-yellow two-seaters are terrifically convenient. 聽 Despite the cars鈥� racing stripes, think "Mr. Toad鈥檚 Wild Ride" rather than "Bullitt". The open-topped vehicles have just three wheels and are powered by a 49cc engine, on par with a moped. Since you鈥檒l also be low to the ground, wearing a helmet, and going less than 30 miles per hour, you鈥檒l be far from inconspicuous in traffic. After getting a safety briefing and a map, you can drive on virtually any city street - freedom with a fun-park feeling. 聽 Each car has a GPS guiding system and an automated 鈥渟torytelling鈥� function. You can choose one of three audio tours or draw up your own route. Eager to brave super-twisty Lombard Street or skim through Golden Gate Park? GoCar right ahead. The Presidio park, with its views of the bay and Golden Gate Bridge, is an especially good place to tootle around.![1... Relax With a Hurricane]()
Genteel, historic Nob Hill may seem an unlikely place to find something deeply, deliciously corny. Yet in one of the neighborhood鈥檚 most elegant landmarks you鈥檒l find one of the country鈥檚 splashiest tiki bars. The Tonga Room & Hurricane Bar (950 Mason St., 415-772-5278) beckons from the basement of the Fairmont San Francisco hotel. 聽 The bar has its tiki bona fides; it helped ignite American tiki style in the 1960s with its South Seas d茅cor, moody lighting, and fruity tropical cocktails. Happily, the time-warp Tonga is still a vision of lava rock, bamboo furniture, and plastic leis. Most impressively, there鈥檚 a large lagoon with regular 鈥渞ainstorms鈥� (rumbling thunder sounds and a short shower around the edge of the pool). Yes, you can have your mai tai served in a faux coconut, topped with a paper umbrella and you can even raise a potent Zombie or Tonga Itch to the newly appreciated glories of kitsch. Just don鈥檛 drive your GoCar home. 聽San Francisco in 5...
A longtime favorite of vacationers from around the world, San Francisco has several iconic attractions trapped under a tacky glaze. The key to relishing these kitschy spots is to tackle them with a sense of humor, some insider鈥檚 know-how, and a bit of patience. Scratch through the surface of these famously touristy spots and you鈥檒l discover some genuinely fun experiences waiting to get out. By Jennifer Paull
Move Forward
- San Francisco in 5...
